+Tuesday, May 24, 2005+
Alright, I lied. Yesterday wasn't my last post before Matt comes home and R&R bliss. Matt called last night; I knew it was him before I even looked at the caller ID, and when the phone rang, I felt a mixture of happy and sad at the exact same moment - happy that Matt was calling, yet sad because I knew it meant he wasn't en route. It was an anomaly feeling those highs and lows simultaneously, but nothing new to this deployment. Here's a short list of just a few examples of the emotions I've been through in the last 24 hours: excited, restless, energetic, nervous, happy, antsy, anxious, impatient, eager, annoyed, thrilled, hysterical, worried - all driven by the ineffable love I have for my Matt, and dammit!!! I just want to see him already!!

I don't think I slept more than 3 hours last night, and it was sporadic. As soon as something would wake me up, my mind would start racing a mile a minute - oh my God, in just a few days Matt's going to be laying here next to me! Part of me almost wishes he hadn't told me about his leave, that he'd just shown up on our doorstep one day much to my ecstatic surprise so I could just surpass all this anticipation that's been keeping me up at night. When Matt gets home, he can sleep to recover from jet lag, and I'll sleep to recover from this week-long adrenaline rush. One might've been led to believe I was hopped up on speed yesterday with the quickness and efficiency I was getting things done in preparation for Matt's homecoming (albeit temporary). Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, car washing - they're no match for a girl trying to kill time while waiting for her soldier to come home; they tremble in fear at the sight of me...hahaha! I can safely say I've never been this motivated in my entire life.

Anyway, the real reason I'm posting today is 'cause Jennifer was (ahem) kind enough to pass this "baton" on to me, and in keeping with tradition, I just simply couldn't say no. Besides, I'm grateful for the distraction (even if it is a short one). Make sure you stop by and give her and Karen some love - their husbands just got back from a year-long deployment to Iraq in February and have already been redeployed.

TOTAL VOLUME OF MUSIC ON MY COMPUTER:
None. I keep my computer muted at work - I tend to get weird popups that play loud music and scare the living crap out of me when they come out of nowhere.

THE LAST CD I BOUGHT:
Um. Gosh! I can't remember the last time I bought a CD let alone what the CD was!

CURRENT SONG PLAYING:
No song. It's a commercial on the radio about tires.

5 SONGS I LISTEN TO A LOT, OR MEAN A LOT TO ME:
Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting (this is mine and Matt's first dance song at our wedding. I can't listen to it without bawling, which is another reason my computer is muted...so I don't have to hear it when I come to my website.)
3 Doors Down - Here Without You (Matt's ringer on my cell phone)
Jimmy Eat World - Lucky Denver Mint
Metallica - The Unforgiven
Transiberian Orchestra - Carol of the Bells

5 PEOPLE OF WHOM I'M PASSING THE BATON:
Hmmmmmm...who're the lucky 5...err, 4...gonna be? Christy, Brittany, Ginger, and Laura (I'm your guys' new best friend now, huh?! hehe).

Update as of 5/25/05 11:24 a.m.: Matt called to let me know he's in Kuwait and I now have an official time of his arrival into Reno, so this really WILL be my last post for a while! I'm grinning ear-to-ear; my baby's coming home!!!


wishing matt was here @ 12:47 PM+
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+Monday, May 23, 2005+
The final hours of countdown have begun! Matt called me last night to say that he should be leaving the base in the next 48 hours (that was almost 24 hours ago), and that if he doesn't call me tonight, it means he's in the air on his way home! Now I'm just sitting around patiently waiting for my phone to ring (or rather, waiting for it NOT to ring...this is the first time I've ever hoped he doesn't call...haha!). He could possibly be here as early as Thursday, and when I allow myself to fully grasp that that's 3 DAYS away, my head starts spinning wildly, I lose control of my nervous system, and start screaming uncontrollably. Okay, okay, that's not really what happens, but I am really really really freaking excited.

I've been working my butt off at work for the last week and now into this week to get ahead and make everything idiot proof to help reduce my work load when I return. Inevitably I'll have many errors to correct when I get back as I always do when I take time off work, but I'm imagining the worst possible scenario with this as I've never taken 2 weeks in a row off work and undoubtedly my desk will be a cluster of choas when I get back - the more I get done now, the less stressed out I'll be when I get back.

I had a really great weekend in Sacramento with my mom, Matt's mom, and Matt's sister. I had Matt's sister try on about a dozen bridesmaid dresses, and when I found one that I would've absolutely, without a doubt, said yes to in a second, I was informed, much to my dismay, that it's been discontinued in blue. Go figure. My second choice was a beautiful flowing A-line gown with an empire waist - really pretty - but I'm thinking no. The attendants at David's Bridal were really pushy about the dress; they kept insisting that if I liked that dress I had to get right away as it was probably going to be discontinued. Choosing a dress that's going to be discontinued over a year before my wedding seems like a pretty bad idea - it means a) I will have 4 bridesmaids. Period. If I want more, too bad 'cause the dress I picked was discontinued, and b) If I find something I like a lot better 7, 8, 9 months down the road, I'm SOL.

I still haven't positively decided no, but my doubts seem to be ensuring that that's going to be the answer. I just can't pick my bridesmaid dresses this far ahead of the wedding; if I do, I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love that dress for all my girls and won't change my mind. I want to be as positive about my bridesmaids' dresses as I was about mine. I would've said yes in a heartbeat to the dress that was my first choice if only it hadn't been discontinued in the color blue. Damn David's Bridal!! I don't think they should ever "discontinue" a dress. They need to open an outlet store is what they need to do.

I did, however, find the absolute perfect gown for my rehearsal dinner. I saw it out of the corner of my eye when I was piling bridesmaid dresses into Matt's sister's arms and decided it couldn't hurt if I tried on a dress too. It didn't fit, and they only happened to have that ONE dress in that ONE size at that particular store, so I did what any girl who's found a dress she knows she must have would do - I ordered it in my size to have it shipped to me (it was only a size too big, so I got a pretty good feel for how it would look on me). It's a red A-line gown with an empire waist - the top of the gown is satiny and shiny, with a "keyhole" in the middle of the bust and the straps starting in the middle of the neckline and wrapping around my neck forming kind of a "V." Where the straps meet the neckline, is a beautiful faux-diamond broach, and the rest of the dress is made out of a flowing, crepe-like material. I LOVE it; when it arrives in 6 - 8 weeks, I'll take a picture of it for all to see. I even bought a pair of sexy, strappy red leather sandals to go with it that were way out of my price range, but so very worth it.

After perusing dresses at David's Bridal, we spent a few hours shopping, ate a delicious meal at P.F. Changs, and saw the Broadway musical production of The Lion King (which was so much fun!). It was a nice weekend with family (and future family) - Matt's mom and I were very excited to be able to talk about Matt coming home! She sent me an email this morning saying, "Just think...this time next week, Matt will be here!" I can't think about it!! It makes me start crying in happiness and my eyes pop out of my head...LOL. I'm eager for him to get here so I can just SEE him already and all this icky anticipation that's churning around in my stomach can just go away!

This'll possibly be my last post for the next couple weeks unless something interesting happens in the next few days. Otherwise, faithful reader, you won't hear from me until after Matt goes back to the sandbox! Then I'll have plenty to update with stories and pictures (and lots and lots of tears). Until then......au revoir!


wishing matt was here @ 4:51 PM+
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+Tuesday, May 17, 2005+
Time is creeping along on its way to Matt's return home. I absolutely cannot contain myself! I'm trying to forget the unavoidable separation at the end of our 15 days, and though it's proving to be a little difficult, my feelings of excitement are definitely outweighing those of inevitable pain.

He called me on Sunday night after not calling for nearly a week, and when I expressed my dislike of the length between phone calls, he simply laughed and said, "I spoiled you from calling every day, didn't I?" Yes. Yes he did. LOL! We talked for a good long while about his leave and our plans - I think I may have overbooked us a little, but if there's one thing I'm good at, it's squeezing everything in. Have 10 days worth of stuff to do but only 7 days to do it in? No problem! I've been working out an itinerary (actually, a couple different itineraries, each varying depending on the day he arrives in Reno), and I can't help but feel selfish, griping and moaning as I pencil in "family time" and "friend time." This wouldn't be an issue if we'd been able to go to Germany like we'd originally planned!

Thankfully his family and friends have been more understanding of my selfishness than I'd anticipated. His mom said she doesn't even expect us to spend more than a day or two with them as she knows that more than anything we'll want time for each other. One of Matt's friends stopped by last night, and I made it very clear that they're more than welcome to take him out for a "guys'" night, but I'm going too, hence my stipulations of not leaving his side. His friend's response was, "Oh, yeah. Of course!! You deserve to see Matt more than any of us do!"

For the most part, my weekend was pretty uneventful. H came into Reno on Friday evening, so I took her up to the Lake with me on Saturday for my friend's graduation. It was awesome to see my friend from high school again after more than a year; it was kind of comforting to know that she's still the exact same as I remember her. After graduation, I took H on my official "Incline Tour" so as to acquaint her with the town I grew up in and show her the church Matt and I will be getting married in. (To see pictures from my weekend, click here. Who knew that digital cameras could produce overexposed pictures??)

We had somewhat of candid girls' night in on Friday - my roommate had one of her friends over, so when H showed up, we popped in a girlie movie to enjoy the absence of testosterone (though too much estrogen can results in did-she-really-say-that outbursts, as I'll demonstrate...). The Roommate is a hair stylist and basically from the second Matt proposed to me, it's been determined that she's the one doing my hair on the big day. In fact, when Matt goes back after his R&R and I finally remember to get my veils from my parent's house, we're going to start practicing (no a year in advance is NOT too early...pssh). Having gone to beauty school, her skills aren't limited to just hair either - she's also very adept in nails and make up.

On Friday she was doing her friend's make up while we were watching TV, and after seeing the finished result, I declared, "I know who's doing my make up for my wedding!!" Misunderstanding me, H made a comment about how the maid of honor is in charge of everything anyway, so she would love to do my make up and how fun it would be. I trust that she could do a good job on my make up - it could be a real fun experiment to give each other make overs - but when it comes down to my wedding, the day that's been set aside as one of the most important days of a girl's life, there's very little room for error. What I want on my wedding day is not necessarily something H could do. The way she wears her make up works great for her, but it's not what I want on my wedding day; she simply doesn't have the years of beauty school under her belt that The Roommate does. I know if she did something I absolutely hated, I wouldn't tell her I hated it out of fear of hurting her feelings, and I'd spend my wedding day internally fuming over the results (superficial, yes, but on my wedding day I'd rather be superficial and happy than flexible and upset).

We've all heard of "bridezillas," but I discovered on Friday that "maid of honorzillas" exist too when for a few brief moments H completely lost her cool. After commenting on how great it would be to do my make up, I gently corrected her and told her I meant The Roommate, and even though it only lasted a matter of miliseconds, Jekyll turned to Hyde as this indescribable look came over H's face and she said, "God, whatever, why don't you just have HER be your maid of honor?" It was gone just as quickly as it had come. When I told her The Roommate was doing my hair, too, she smiled and said she was just kidding anyway, but we all sat in quiet disbelief for a few seconds as we pondered whether or not that had really actually happened. H, if you read this, I love you girl, but YIKES! Where the hell did that come from?

H went back to Winnemucca on Saturday instead of staying the entire weekend, but I was almost grateful to have the day to myself on Sunday - laundry needed to be washed, dishes needed to be cleaned, errands needed to be ran, and all that stuff seems to be accomplished much more quickly if I don't have friends around to distract me! After finishing my "chores," I sat down to watch The Notebook (borrowed from H as I'd never seen it before and everyone insisted that I must), and oh my goodness. If you haven't seen this movie, it's true - you have to. Despite the fact that it made me miss Matt like crazy and I spent the last hour of the movie full-on bawling with a box of Kleenex in my lap, this movie is the epitome of unconditional love and it was beautiful.

It's tought to believe that it's only a matter of DAYS now before I'll be seeing my baby again. I find myself torn between hoping time goes by quickly so I can just freaking see him already and hoping that it slows down because the longer it takes him to get here, the more delayed is our inevitable goodbye and those miserable 9 months that are looming in the distance like a menacing storm. I just wish he didn't have to go back at all. I wish this was the end and he was coming home for good next week, but, well, I'll take what I can get!!


wishing matt was here @ 2:49 AM+
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+Tuesday, May 10, 2005+
Well, just another three weeks or so before I'll be sprinting like a maniac through the grubby corridors of the Reno-Tahoe Airport to pick up my Matt! I'm so excited to see him, but at the same time am coping with this sickening knot in my stomach. No doubt our 2 weeks will be great - I find it absolutely adorable that Matt told me it would be okay if I went to work his first few days back into so he can recover from jet lag, like he thinks I'd actually be capable of sitting still at my desk knowing that he's back at the house. No way! If he needs to sleep and recover from jet lag, I'll sit in the overstuffed chair in our bedroom and watch him sleep. Freaky and stalkerish, perhaps, but from the moment I see him in that airport, he's not leaving my sight (except of course for the obvious times like when he's going to the bathroom).

I digress. The feeling of dread that amounts from Matt's leave isn't so much from the knowledge of the 9 long months that will follow as it is from knowing I'll have to let him go again. I know I can handle the 9 months; once I get into a routine, time flies by before my very eyes. Like April. Can anyone please tell me where April disappeared to? But I've already had to let Matt go twice - sitting in his truck at the base, bawling my eyes out while he made hand motions through the window of the bus that he loved me; sitting in the OKC airport, once again bawling my eyes out while some jerk sitting near me had the audacity to say "it can't be that bad." I don't like the feeling of letting Matt go - it's close kin to that of falling down a dark hole and not knowing when you're going to hit ground if at all - and while our 15 days together will undoubtedly make all that pain worthwhile, I'm not looking forward to our third goodbye; however, I do receive solace from knowing that this is the last time I'll ever have to feel that again. After this, there's only hellos.

Last week was HECTIC. Between work, school, and H coming into town for the Jimmy Eat World concert, I think the only time I was at home was when I was sleeping, and worse than that, instead of moving quickly as busy, hectic weeks so often do, this one took its precious time moving through. The Jimmy Eat World concert was a blast - they played my favorite song ever ("Lucky Denver Mint") and I started squealing like I'd just won the lottery because it's one of their older songs and was never a single so I wasn't sure they'd play it. H seemed to thoroughly enjoy my screaming though as she didn't stop laughing for the entire duration of the song. I ran into my boss from my old job at the radio station (I used to be a weekend DJ...excuse me, on-air personality), and he told me I should come back and work a weekend shift - this idea is really appealing to me, especially as a way to fill some time while Matt's away. I'm still mulling over it...It's proving to be a difficult decision because while working at the radio station was undoubtedly the funnest job I've ever had, I had a grocery list of reasons for quitting and don't know if it would be worth it to go back.

Matt called right smack in the middle of Jimmy Eat World's set allowing me to prove my super human skills by sprinting across an insanely large concert hall while dodging drunk teenagers to get outside and talk to him somewhere quiet. Of course, I answered my phone before my mad rush to the door so he got to hear about 5 seconds of Jimmy Eat World playing live. I told him, "See baby, now you know I really DO bring my cell phone everywhere." Surgically attached, I tell ya. Missing a call from Matt is very high up there on the worst things that can happen to me. I even bring it to class and movie theatres despite the utter contempt it causes me from my fellow peers.

As a reward for making it through my very long and strenuous week, I bought myself a book I've been wanting to own for a very long time now - "The Secret Language of Birthdays." It's a book on personology, or rather, the idea that your personality is greatly affected by the day you're born on. I don't take it as religion, but I'm completely fascinated with the concept of astrology. I'd never call a psychic or get a tarot reading, but I do read my horoscope every day and have the Virgo symbol tattooed on my tummy by my belly button. So far my personology book has been eerily accurate. If you want to know what it says about you, email me your birthday (or leave it in my comments with your email address), and I'd be happy to tell you!

Mother's Day with my parents was a good time. We got some weather in the mountains that's pretty typical for a Reno May, so instead of risking death driving up the mountain in my Jetta, my parents came to Reno (their car is 4x4). We ate breakfast, saw A Lot Like Love, and then somehow I convinced my mom that we should go shopping (it was real tough, let me tell ya LOL) and walked away with a few adorable new tanks tops and a fabulous new pair of shoes to wear on mine and Matt's trip to L.A.

Getting cute new tank tops prompted me to finally go to the doctor to get this hideous rash I have on my back checked out. God knows I won't be wearing any sexy low back tanks if my back looks like it's been infected with leprocy (and it does too!). I originally got the rash about 6 months ago, shortly after we found out about Matt's deployment. I went to the doctor, he gave me steroids, and the rash didn't go away. Out of my total dislike for doctor's offices (not the doctors...it's the waiting room that gets me. Waiting rooms are the epitome of sickness), I avoided returning under the conviction that the rash would go away on its own. It didn't. Of course it didn't. They never do when you want them to.

After sitting in the waiting room for TWO HOURS (that's what I get for not making an appointment!), my doctor took one look at the rash and was no sooner filling out a referral sheet for a dermatologist. You know it's a bad sign when your doctor tells you she has "no idea what that is." She did, however, prescribe me a steroid cream to help keep my skin from swelling and suggested I also get some Lamasil to help its cracked and dry appearance since it'll inevitably be a long time before I'm able to get in for an appointment with a dermatologist. They always seem to be booked months in advance. Hopefully the couple creams she gave me will at least prevent me from being dubbed "The Girl with Scales on Her Back" in L.A. I'll die the day some little kid runs up to me and says, "EEEEWWW. CAN I TOUCH IT?" Plus, I know Matt'll be happy to see that after merely 6 months, I finally did something about it. LOL.

One of my good friends from high school is receiving her B.A. this weekend from SNC, which reminds me that I am D-O-N-E with school for the semester on Thursday. It'll be such a strange phenomena to be able to go straight home after work every day - I'm looking forward to it! Still no word from Amanda, but I'm not fretting it too much. The way I see it, if she wanted to be my friend in the first place, she would've been. H called me last night to let me know she was performing her "maid of honorly" duties by watching wedding movies and reality TV shows. She cracks me up! We even managed to think up a code for her to say to me if I start getting too bitchy; it completely reaffirmed my decision in asking her to be my maid of honor. She is my absolute best friend (except for Matt, of course, but for obvious reasons, he can't be my maid of honor) and I love her dearly and can't think of a single person I'd rather hold the title, certainly not Amanda!

Tonight is a birthday party for my old roommate, and tomorrow is finally the middle of the week, counting down the days till Matt's home for R&R and for 15 whole days we get to be inseparable again. Love it!


wishing matt was here @ 6:08 PM+
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+Monday, May 02, 2005+
If weeks had personality disorders, last week surely would've been bipolar (warning: this is a ranting post). It seemed pretty customary that all week my days started out great, but ended terribly. After saying he probably wouldn't be able to call for about a month, I got to talk to Matt every morning last week, and it was fantastic - undoubtedly the reason my days started out so fabulously. He said he missed me too much not to make time in his busy days this month to call me. Is it any wonder why I love this man so damn much?!?

Monday wasn't so bad; it was Tuesday that everything began to tangle itself into a great big web of drama. I had reached the end of my rope with my supposed "best" friend and maid of honor, Amanda. If you've been reading my blog since day one (including back into my old blog), you know things have always been kind of rocky with Amanda and I. One day she'll be just the most wonderful friend a girl could have, and then suddenly I'll go a month without hearing from her. All my phone calls will go unreturned, and when I finally do get a hold of her, if twist her arm enough, I can get her to come out. But of course, she'll bring her boyfriend so I can revel in being the Dateless Wonder. Nothing more fun than being a third wheel and basically having it rubbed in my face that my fiance is gone for the next 10 months.

Prior to last week, I'd gone out to dinner with her and her boyfriend, and after that, had approximately 6 calls go unreturned. Yes, I get it, she's busy. But so am I. I find it difficult to believe it's that tough for her to take the 5 minutes out of her day it takes to return a phone call, so after leaving a menacing voice mail on her phone that this was getting a little ridiculous, I called my friend H - my friend who always calls me back and makes time to see me despite the fact that she lives over 2 hours away unlike Amanda who lives in the same city as me - and asked her to be my maid of honor because the truth of the matter is, she really does deserve it more. How can I plan things with my maid of honor if I can't even get her to return a damn phone call?? It doesn't even have to do with my wedding - it has to do with being a good friend, and never returning my phone calls unless it's convenient for her and only hanging out when she can bring her boyfriend along doesn't qualify in my mind as a "good friend."

I explained the situation to H and told her that when and if Amanda calls me back and I talked to her about my hang ups with how good of a friend she's been as of late, I might have 2 maids of honor pending how it went. I saw nothing wrong with this - I know it's terible etiquette to "revoke" someone's title in a bridal party, but there's no rules about having 2 maids of honor, and okay, I'll admit her inconsistency in returning phone calls had me worrying about her being the sole person planning bridal shower and bachelorette party. It couldn't hurt to have 2 people working to plan those, right?

Amanda called me on Tuesday to say that she'd lost her cell phone and that she was out of town all week anyway. I felt pretty bad for how angry I'd let myself get over her not calling back when she did have a legitimate excuse for not calling, yet that didn't much hinder my decision in asking H to be my maid of honor. After all, it wasn't like my decision was based on this one particular week of unreturned phone calls. It was based on many, many weeks of her shenanigans. Amanda invited me to dinner for Wednesday night, and I happily accepted because not only do I never get to see her, but it gave me the perfect opportunity to talk to her in person about my qualms.

No sooner had I hung up the phone with her than I wrote a text message to H that it looks like I might be having 2 maids of honor. I didn't text it to H though. I accidently sent it to Amanda, and how I managed to do something this stupid still escapes me. Nonetheless, I shrugged it off. I was talking to her about it on Wednesday anyway, and it's not like she can honestly think she's been the friend of the year. She admits often that she's a "bad friend" and never returns phone calls - I really didn't think it would be that egregious of a surprise to her. I immediately sent her a text that I was an idiot and we'd talk more in depth about it when I came over for dinner the following night.

She didn't text me back. When I talked to her on Wednesday to see if we were still on for dinner, she basically all but told me to F off, and that we aren't as "good of friends" as she thought we were. This irked me. I don't know how good of friends she thought we were since I'm the only one making any effort to maintain this friendship, but lately I've had a difficult time considering her a friend period. Friends are friends ALWAYS. If she wants to be a "sometimes" friend, she can be an acquaintance and not have to deal with the apparent hassle of returning my calls. I wrote her a brutally honest email in regards to just how "good of friends" I consider us, what exactly the definition of a friend is to me, how I feel about her boyfriend always coming along for our "girls" nights, among other things that needed to be said.

I full-heartedly admitted that I can understand why she's upset, and that I was wrong in rashly deciding to add on another maid of honor without consulting her first, but she hasn't made any effort to respond to my email or call me since Wednesday, so I'm led to believe that she must think she's done nothing wrong, that suddenly this is all MY fault. Either that or she's being extremely pig-headed and, in my opinion, blowing this way out of proportion. Currently I've reached the point where frankly, I don't give a damn (excuse the "Gone With the Wind" reference). If she wants to be this way, it's no skin off my back - now things are just the way they always have been for the past year or so except now I don't have to worry about making all this effort for a friend who won't call me back. I didn't lose a friend, I lost an obligation, and as terrible as that sounds, it's great insight into the relationship we had (or rather, didn't have). It was a poor decision on my part to ask her to be my maid of honor in the first place, and this can be a lesson to all girls who promised their best friend from high school that she could be the maid of honor in her wedding. You don't have to follow through with that promise especially if you've grown apart so much!!

After stressing out so much about this, things started to look up on Thursday. I was still upset about everything that had happened, still confused about exactly how I should feel about what happened with Amanda and I, but just before noon I got the prettiest hydrangaes delivered to me. They were from my office for secretary's week, and it hadn't even really occurred to me that it was secretary's week, so I was flattered that they had done something for me. Later that afternoon, I got a dozen roses delivered to me from Matt just 'cause he's the most amazing man ever. Flowers delivered to me twice in one day!!! It's hard to be in a bad mood when that happens, and even harder for that bad mood to stick around when your desk looks and smells like a beautiful and colorful garden.

When I talked to Matt on Friday (and thanked him for my beautiful roses!!), he begrudgingly informed me that the army had spoiled our plans once again by moving his R&R leave from October to May (as in the month we're currently in). Why they decided to push it up 5 months instead of to a month like September or August which is closer to October and therefore makes more sense is beyond me. Here I was worried that we wouldn't get the dates we wanted in October, and now we're not even getting the freaking MONTH we wanted.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I'll be seeing him at the end of this month, beginning of next month, but this "minor" change has affected a lot: one of the major reasons we were planning on October was because it spaced the deployment apart nicely - we'd go 7 months and then 5 months without seeing each other. As of today, Matt hasn't even been in Afghanistan 2 months which means now we have to do 3 months and then 9 months. There's nothing convenient about that at all. 9 months is a long time, and part of what I was banking on in this deployment was that the longest I'd have to go without seeing Matt was 7 months. This change has also completely nixed our plans to spend Matt's R&R in Germany - the other reason we were waiting till October was because it gave us more than enough time to save up plenty of money and figure out plans. We now have neither the time nor the means to plan a trip to Germany, so Matt has pretty much no choice but to come home. Instead of Germany, I've been working out a fun trip to L.A. so we can go to Disneyland, Universal Studios, etc etc (after all, L.A. is only an 8 hour drive from Reno which saves us plane ticket money and the cost of renting a car), and that trip will definitely be a blast, but I know we'd both really been looking forward to Germany (not to mention I know Matt isn't too excited about the 18 hour flight home on a cargo plane). I should be used to it by now - since the beginning of this deployment the army has consistently ruined any plans we had - but when stuff like this happens, it still never fails to infuriate me. Well, after this the only thing the army can bend and twist and change anymore is Matt's homecoming date, and I have some solace in knowing that unless he's extended (which right now seems extremely unlikely), it'll at least be in the vicinity of next March. Why must the army make everything so much more complicated than it has to be?

Right after work on Friday, I left for Winnemucca to spend the weekend with my friend H. Depending on how fast you're driving, Winnemucca's about a 2 and a half hour drive out of Reno, but it is, without question, probably one of the prettiest drives ever. Not to mention after my week, I couldn't wait to get out of town for the weekend. I love Nevada, and spending the weekend in a town as pretty as Winnemucca reaffirmed this to me.

On Saturday we had to attend a funeral for H's friend's sister, and due to the circumstances of the death, it was a very sad, very touching funeral. I felt a little awkward going since I didn't know the deceased and had only met H's friend once before, but I could tell that she really appreciated me being there for her during that time and that was enough for me. After the funeral, we drove up to the top of Winnemucca mountain - down one side of the mountain you can see the small postcard town of Winnemucca, on the other is miles and miles and miles of untouched landscape and it is truly awe inspring. There is nothing more beautiful or breathtaking than the vast valleys and mountain ranges of northern Nevada that stretch forever without any trace that man has ever been there or ever will be there. I couldn't do it justice by describing it, and the grainy pictures I took with my cell phone don't do much more than dwarf majestic mountains.

I'm going to see Jimmy Eat World and Taking Back Sunday on Wednesday with H and am so excited. I love Jimmy Eat World - they're definitely way up there on my list of favorite bands, and I'm smitten to get the chance to see them live. If Matt's leave must be pushed up 5 months, it's at least nice to know I have enough to keep me busy so that May will seem like it's just flying by. Oh, army, you and I sure have had our share of differences, haven't we? Such are the ways of the army.


wishing matt was here @ 4:03 PM+
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