+Monday, October 03, 2005+
Here's what's new in my life from the last week: nothing. I'd feel more sorry for myself with my seemingly pitiful life if I didn't bring it upon myself. In fact, I rather enjoy it. From the beginning of this whole "adventure," my favorite person to hang out with has been me. The truth of the matter is, I'd much rather sit at home and talk to myself (I'm actually talking to Matt, but well, since he's not here, it may appear I'm insane to the naked eye) than go out with friends and pretend to have a good time. Besides, who says you have to go out every damn weekend? I'm always so busy visiting with family and friends on most weekends, the ones I get entirely to myself - like this last one - are the best ones.

Well because of my nothing weekend I don't have much to post about. I slept in Saturday, did laundry, lounged around in my pajamas all day, watched some movies, read my book, made portobello mushroom tortellini for dinner. The only time I left the house all day was to venture down the driveway to check the mail. I did nothing and it was everything I hoped it would be (I stole that line from one of the best movies ever, "Office Space"). I was a little more productive on Sunday - I studied for the accounting midterm I have today and ventured a little further out of the house than the day before, drove all the way to the other end of town to spend the gift certificate I got to Steinmart for my birthday from Matt's parents. I didn't get much though - a new shirt, a new pair of pants, and a throw pillow for the guest bed. They never have anything in my size. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Last Wednesday they had a meeting for the FRG, but I didn't go. They haven't had a real official meetings since February - or maybe it was March. Whenever it was, it was a long ass time ago. They've had 2 meetings this month so far, both on Wednesdays. They throw the meetings in the middle of the day in the middle of the work week, email out the wrong time to everyone, and then wonder why no one shows up at the meetings. Well, the email about the second meeting had the correct time as far as I know, but once again, Wednesday. Busiest day of the week for me, and I'm pretty bummed I didn't make it 'cause I actually would've liked to have gone to this one...

The wife of one of the soldiers who was killed in the crash last Sunday had an open house on Friday for people to come mourn, to give their respects and condolences. Once again, I didn't go. I don't know if this sounds terribly selfish of me, but I wasn't necessarily comfortable going - I talked to her on the phone once last December, I never officially met her, and I really had no idea what to say to a stranger in that situation. I do intend on sending sympathy cards to both women and on attending the funerals though. Every news story I've read and every report I've seen on the local stations saddens me to no end, and truly I have the deepest sympathies for these wives and their children. I'm still a little in shock in some ways - I really had started to believe that the entire unit would make it back okay, and this was....a wake-up, for lack of better term. I just can't wait for Matt to get home. I'm so damn exhausted of all these heaps of loneliness. I think Christy said it best when she referred to it as a "half-life."

I've decided I'm going to watch the show "Over There." I've heard a million and one different things about it, and I've decided it's finally time to assess this for myself. Not to mention it'll give me something to post about...LOL, so come back on Thursday for my review of the show (and to find out whether or not I even made it through the whole damn thing). Am I the only one that thinks this post read a little like one of Jim Carrey's journal entries from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"?

wishing matt was here @ 3:25 PM+

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