+Tuesday, May 17, 2005+
Time is creeping along on its way to Matt's return home. I absolutely cannot contain myself! I'm trying to forget the unavoidable separation at the end of our 15 days, and though it's proving to be a little difficult, my feelings of excitement are definitely outweighing those of inevitable pain.

He called me on Sunday night after not calling for nearly a week, and when I expressed my dislike of the length between phone calls, he simply laughed and said, "I spoiled you from calling every day, didn't I?" Yes. Yes he did. LOL! We talked for a good long while about his leave and our plans - I think I may have overbooked us a little, but if there's one thing I'm good at, it's squeezing everything in. Have 10 days worth of stuff to do but only 7 days to do it in? No problem! I've been working out an itinerary (actually, a couple different itineraries, each varying depending on the day he arrives in Reno), and I can't help but feel selfish, griping and moaning as I pencil in "family time" and "friend time." This wouldn't be an issue if we'd been able to go to Germany like we'd originally planned!

Thankfully his family and friends have been more understanding of my selfishness than I'd anticipated. His mom said she doesn't even expect us to spend more than a day or two with them as she knows that more than anything we'll want time for each other. One of Matt's friends stopped by last night, and I made it very clear that they're more than welcome to take him out for a "guys'" night, but I'm going too, hence my stipulations of not leaving his side. His friend's response was, "Oh, yeah. Of course!! You deserve to see Matt more than any of us do!"

For the most part, my weekend was pretty uneventful. H came into Reno on Friday evening, so I took her up to the Lake with me on Saturday for my friend's graduation. It was awesome to see my friend from high school again after more than a year; it was kind of comforting to know that she's still the exact same as I remember her. After graduation, I took H on my official "Incline Tour" so as to acquaint her with the town I grew up in and show her the church Matt and I will be getting married in. (To see pictures from my weekend, click here. Who knew that digital cameras could produce overexposed pictures??)

We had somewhat of candid girls' night in on Friday - my roommate had one of her friends over, so when H showed up, we popped in a girlie movie to enjoy the absence of testosterone (though too much estrogen can results in did-she-really-say-that outbursts, as I'll demonstrate...). The Roommate is a hair stylist and basically from the second Matt proposed to me, it's been determined that she's the one doing my hair on the big day. In fact, when Matt goes back after his R&R and I finally remember to get my veils from my parent's house, we're going to start practicing (no a year in advance is NOT too early...pssh). Having gone to beauty school, her skills aren't limited to just hair either - she's also very adept in nails and make up.

On Friday she was doing her friend's make up while we were watching TV, and after seeing the finished result, I declared, "I know who's doing my make up for my wedding!!" Misunderstanding me, H made a comment about how the maid of honor is in charge of everything anyway, so she would love to do my make up and how fun it would be. I trust that she could do a good job on my make up - it could be a real fun experiment to give each other make overs - but when it comes down to my wedding, the day that's been set aside as one of the most important days of a girl's life, there's very little room for error. What I want on my wedding day is not necessarily something H could do. The way she wears her make up works great for her, but it's not what I want on my wedding day; she simply doesn't have the years of beauty school under her belt that The Roommate does. I know if she did something I absolutely hated, I wouldn't tell her I hated it out of fear of hurting her feelings, and I'd spend my wedding day internally fuming over the results (superficial, yes, but on my wedding day I'd rather be superficial and happy than flexible and upset).

We've all heard of "bridezillas," but I discovered on Friday that "maid of honorzillas" exist too when for a few brief moments H completely lost her cool. After commenting on how great it would be to do my make up, I gently corrected her and told her I meant The Roommate, and even though it only lasted a matter of miliseconds, Jekyll turned to Hyde as this indescribable look came over H's face and she said, "God, whatever, why don't you just have HER be your maid of honor?" It was gone just as quickly as it had come. When I told her The Roommate was doing my hair, too, she smiled and said she was just kidding anyway, but we all sat in quiet disbelief for a few seconds as we pondered whether or not that had really actually happened. H, if you read this, I love you girl, but YIKES! Where the hell did that come from?

H went back to Winnemucca on Saturday instead of staying the entire weekend, but I was almost grateful to have the day to myself on Sunday - laundry needed to be washed, dishes needed to be cleaned, errands needed to be ran, and all that stuff seems to be accomplished much more quickly if I don't have friends around to distract me! After finishing my "chores," I sat down to watch The Notebook (borrowed from H as I'd never seen it before and everyone insisted that I must), and oh my goodness. If you haven't seen this movie, it's true - you have to. Despite the fact that it made me miss Matt like crazy and I spent the last hour of the movie full-on bawling with a box of Kleenex in my lap, this movie is the epitome of unconditional love and it was beautiful.

It's tought to believe that it's only a matter of DAYS now before I'll be seeing my baby again. I find myself torn between hoping time goes by quickly so I can just freaking see him already and hoping that it slows down because the longer it takes him to get here, the more delayed is our inevitable goodbye and those miserable 9 months that are looming in the distance like a menacing storm. I just wish he didn't have to go back at all. I wish this was the end and he was coming home for good next week, but, well, I'll take what I can get!!

wishing matt was here @ 2:49 AM+

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